I have $13.50 left on an iTunes gift certificate. Should I buy Enya or Ennio Morricone?
Vote in comments if you care.
Labels: DESPERATE AND SAD, REALLY FUCKING GAY
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/30/2008 -
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Has the MOMA called yet?
Labels: BOOKS MOVIES AND OTHER CULTURALISTICALITIES, NOBODY LIKES A NERD, THINGS I WISH I'D DONE
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/30/2008 -
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HERE IS THE PSA FOR FUCK DEATH.
Labels: DEATH AND DRAMA, I MADE THIS. ME. GRAYDON., MAYBE THE FUTURE WILL BE BETTER
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/27/2008 -
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POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/27/2008 -
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I made a one minute short for THE FUCK DEATH FOUNDATION for their screening and fundraiser:
Friday, January 25th
8PM
Camera Bar
1028 Queen Street West
Toronto
$5 Cover
My short will be shown before the main event - Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Seal".
Come kill death.
MORE INFO
Labels: BOOKS MOVIES AND OTHER CULTURALISTICALITIES, DEATH AND DRAMA, I MADE THIS. ME. GRAYDON., MAYBE THE FUTURE WILL BE BETTER
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/25/2008 -
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POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/17/2008 -
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I was just looking at Google map images of Toronto and scrolled over the CN Tower. I noticed that on the map the CN Tower appears to point South. I at first assumed that the photo must have been taken from North of the tower. Then I looked at the buildings South of the CN Tower which appeared to be pointing North - which means the photograph was taken from South of the CN Tower. Now, both things can't be true - so either the image is doctored or there's something I'm not understanding.
CLICK HERE to see for yourself.
Oh wait, now I know. I'm a loser.
Labels: NOBODY LIKES A NERD
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/17/2008 -
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Thanks to Laurel at I HEART PHOTOGRAPH for blogging my garbage.
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/16/2008 -
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Posting will be light to nil here while I'm being unbelievably gay over at !! OMG BLOG !! until mid-February.
Good news is I'll be doing 5 posts a day for OMG, so you'll get more of me than you ever wanted, though in a more saccharine form.
Labels: REALLY FUCKING GAY
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/13/2008 -
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Just cause a woman sticks her head in a toilet in a performance doesn't mean it's about eating disorders. Don't be racist. The above is an excerpt from a performance created by ANN LIV YOUNG.
Also check out GOLD DRESSES. These dances look inspired by of one of my fave dances by ANNE TERESA DE KEERSMAEKER AND MICHELE ANNE DE MEY. Lots of Ann(e)s dancing.
Thanks to Dubble Bubble Boy for leading me to it.
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/13/2008 -
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I was upset at having found THESE PHOTOS by CARSTEN HOLLER cause I thought they were anaglyphs and I cursed myself for not having taken 3Ds at the fair last summer...but it looks like they're just separated and shifted CMYK channels...phew!
I discovered these photos via a great blog called I HEART PHOTOGRAPH (thanks to Claire) which is now on my blogroll on the right-hand sidebar.
Labels: BOOKS MOVIES AND OTHER CULTURALISTICALITIES, THINGS I WISH I'D DONE
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/11/2008 -
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POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/11/2008 -
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DE THURAH + KANYE.
Labels: BOOKS MOVIES AND OTHER CULTURALISTICALITIES, MUSIC, THINGS I WISH I'D DONE
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/10/2008 -
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POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/10/2008 -
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I haven't been posting much crap-garbage I find around cause I haven't found much crap-garbage that I care about at the moment. So I'm just gonna write some junk. And I'm gonna continue to do what I bitch about on other blogs...I'm gonna post more pictures of me...but they're from the trouble years so it's worth it.
I was on the subway today when I finally realized it's 2008. You know how sometimes things to do with dates and time changing take a while to sink in? Like after your birthday you'll say you're 7 when you're actually 8 and you win a colouring contest in the wrong age group and you go up to the front of the school to accept the award for best drawing in the 5-7 year old category and your classmates stand up and yell "He's not 7 he's 8!" and they strip you of your title of "Best Colourer of a Muskoka Winter Scene" in front of everyone? Grade 3 sucked.
Anyway, I realized it's been 10 years since I left to go on an exchange to Switzerland for a semester of school. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I worked and paid for my flight out of my two-horse title-stripping town, lived with a francophone Swiss family, went to a francophone school, saw Milan and Paris and Zurich, snowboarded amidst avalanches, ate breakfast and dinner every day with a view of Mont Blanc from the table, showered after gym class with a guy I nicknamed "horse-cock", and began to come out of the closet. It was terribly liberating, and the return to the misery of Gravenhurst was a prison sentence. I specifically remember standing in the hall a couple weeks after I got back, staring at the alternating brown, orange, and green lockers, paining for my European life, and thinking "In 10 years, I will not miss Switzerland at all." That devastated me.
At that point in my life my experiences overseas were the most important thing. There was nothing bigger or more important than those memories, and there was nothing better than those memories. And for some reason I recognized that one day they would not be the most important things in my life, and I dreaded not missing Switzerland. I anticipated THE DEATH OF MISSING.
And it faded, the missing. I went to school in a bigger town where they had photography classes, I found friends, a boyfriend, got my driver's license, and so on. Then other missings took over. Friends moved, boyfriends moved on, I moved to Toronto. A series of missings and renewals, all the while Switzerland became a sharp point in my mind. I wrote to my host family less frequently, I stopped looking through the album, I stopped watching the video, I just stopped missing it.
The most interesting thing to me in The Death of Missing is that by the time missing dies it doesn't hurt anymore. You fear losing those emotions, but in losing the emotions you lose the pain. There comes a time when thinking of something you used to love doesn't cause you to well up or get excited or swell in the heart (or another) region. When I break up with someone I have loved (okay...when I get dumped) I at first dread the day I won't long to feel him beside me. But it just fades...and in the end it doesn't hurt.
I know it's neurotic...to miss something is one thing, but to fear not missing something is entirely another, then to dramatize the fading of that feeling is beyond reason...but that's how my ticker tapes (what?).
I won't say I'm not nostalgic about things even when I don't miss them. I can't say that plowing through my packet of photos from Switzerland didn't swirl up some sludge in my black heart. But it just doesn't kill me like it used to.
I wonder what I'll miss in 10 years. Maybe if they stop making Twix bars I'll miss those.
Anyway, here are those pics:
^Me with my lesbian retiree haircut and exchange partner Maria at the Creux du Van.
^Standing on the balcony of my room at my friend Estelle's ski chalet.
^Eating chocolate on the boardwalk in Morges.
The photo at the top is from the window of my host family's dining room. Mont Blanc is between the V the mountains on the right make. The mountains on the right are where Evian water comes from. Oooooooooooo!
Labels: DEATH AND DRAMA, DESPERATE AND SAD, I MADE THIS. ME. GRAYDON., MAYBE THE FUTURE WILL BE BETTER, NARCISSISM, NOBODY LIKES A NERD
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/09/2008 -
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It's true. I remember a friend of mine used to tell me her dreams every day at school and it was the most boring thing I could imagine. I mean, it didn't even happen...it's of no consequence...and I can't/won't decipher it, so why are you telling me?
Anyway, the title of this post was my favourite line from THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY (that's a truly hideous and misleading schmaltzy website by the way). I went with my dearie Johanna (who just applied to Yale among other schools to do her MFA...let's wish her luckies!) after a gorgeous dinner at the A&W in the food court under The Bay.
Sooooooo...I expected to be manipulated to death as the film is about Jean-Dominique Bauby, the former editor of Elle France who suffers a stroke. The stroke causes "Locked-In Syndrome," meaning that he is completely paralyzed (save for his left eye) but can see, hear, and think as usual. He is literally a prisoner inside his body. It's pretty heavy. But, as I was saying, it wasn't depressing. In fact, the film was quite uplifting through its pained lens.
It's shot very cleverly, making you feel the panic and claustrophobia of being trapped in paralysis as well as feeling nostalgia and hope through the lens that mimics Jean-Dominique's good eye as well as his mind's eye.
Johanna turned to me after the credits and said "That was sad." My response was "Yet, I'm jealous of him." HA! How terrible. But it's true...at this point I'd rather be the editor of Elle with 3 kids, an ex-wife, a hot lover, a wicked car, who then strokes out in France and gets a cool rare condition and then writes a best-seller turned posthumous bio-pic than a lonely, bitter, head-shaving, pancake eating, Oprah watching, Canadian. Oh well.
Labels: BOOKS MOVIES AND OTHER CULTURALISTICALITIES, DESPERATE AND SAD, MAYBE THE FUTURE WILL BE BETTER, NARCISSISM
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/09/2008 -
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POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/08/2008 -
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I'm back after holidays and the flu.
I had a dream last week that my teeth were falling out. According to online dream dictionaries either something great is going to happen, or something terrible is going to happen. So I'm going to continue spending my time alternating my mindset between "excited" and "terrified".
Labels: DEATH AND DRAMA, DESPERATE AND SAD, EW, MAYBE THE FUTURE WILL BE BETTER, NARCISSISM
POSTED BY GRAYDON AT 1/07/2008 -
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